The top of the mountain is still far away.

I dont know what to think about things sometimes. It's just confused and hurt so much that I dont even want to think about it! I found out something made me feel being betrayed and it looks like that person is lying to me about something. I feel like my eyes are being covered and I dont know what is going on around me. Maybe what I found out is not a big deal as i thought, but why? and what's that for? And anyway, it hurts though Im trying to be strong, as long and strong as I can.

Everything is so unstable and unsure and risky! I feel bad! I'm like a snail who got
hit for just one time and then so scared that dont dare to show up anymore and dont want to communicate anymore, just wanna be in my cover.Too bad!

A friend got betrayed and hurt. A big shock actually! And the bad thing is no one at work cares about him and this hurts even more. All I can do is to offer huggies and kisses. I felt so guilty that I couldnt do more since I know he needs more. I know he needs peace and supports. I hate it when I cant do anything to help someone that I love and all I can do is just to see them being hurt. I can kiss, can hug, and can give them my shoulder. That's all and that's not enough. I wanna do more. But what can I do? Get stuck there really sucks.

Sometimes, life is so tough that you just wana let things, everything go and stop thinking! Though it's not my way to give up easily and I always tell myself to try more and more, it hurts when you have to try too much and too long. It likes when you are climbing up a mountain and you know beforehand that it will be very high and it will take lots of effort and you tell yourself to be up all the time for difficulties, you find yourself getting tired both physically and mentally at the halfway and the top of the mountain is still so far away, you dont know where and how long it will take more to get there and dont even know if you could get to the top or not. At that time, the thinking of giving up or letting go will come, naturally!

But you know what? You will find yourself telling yourself to be up again. Here we go, the self motivation! Are you ready? Errr.....Yes, I am as I always am!