Forgiveness and mental freedom.

Almost 10 years ago, someone made a mistake and it took me more than 4 years to find my peace of mind back when I could tell myself "I forgive!" after going through sooo many sleepless nights full of tears, hates, regrets, blames and many many other bad feelings.

When I could find my way to get out of the dark, I realized that it's myself that locked my heart, my soul, my mind and my mental freedom, no one else but myself as all that made me cry and regret and hate and blame was my thinkings and imaginations only. I was holding on what happened for too long and the only thing that feelings could bring me was the hurt. So, in short, it was myself that hurt myself.

On the day that I found the forgiveness for that person, the sun was so shinning and the air could not be fresher. I felt like someone took the heavy weight which has been on my chest for ages away. And now, I can breath, for myself, enjoy the sunlight and the breeze without thinking about what happened anymore. That feeling of freedom made me feel like flying.

But I did not tell that person that I forgave for what Ive been done to. I only told myself. So, deepdown, there was only one person got released, it's me. Time has been flying and I dont know how that person was doing now and I dont care anymore as it's the past and my present has no connection with that ugly past. However, I wished I had had told that person that I forgave then I could free their mind from thinking that I hate them.

And now, almost 10 years later, I had another chance to feel that freedom feeling inside of me, deeply and truly. He made a mistake. We had a fight. Again, tears, hate, regret, blame came to be my friends at night. No sleep, just hanging around with those friends. Imaginations did its work again and funny and ironically, the imagination only brings the bad images and ofcourse it hurts.

It took another period of time to remind and got reminded about the lesson of forgiveness that I learnt long time ago.

And this time, I made a much better decision about the lesson. Well, people get improved by time if they are willing to learn, dont they?

I told him that I forgave for what he's done to me. And to my own surprise, the feeling of freedom came again, fast and fresh as if it was the first time. Hey, old friend, long time no see! Thank you sooooooo much for coming back to me!!!!

This time, I learnt more about the freedom brought by the forgiveness. Thatis when you can forgive someone, it's you forgiving yourself and giving yourself a chance to have a good day and a chance to enjoy every single moment in your life without worrying about what happened, about the past and about what is out of your control. I learnt the 3Cs rule and applying this rule help me to free my own mind and my heart. The 3Cs rule is keep telling yourself that "I didnt cause it, I cant cure it and I cannot control it!" and coming with the rule is the solution for what you have been worrying about :"If you cannot control it, then let it go as no matter what you do or no matter how hard you try, you cannot control it then what you can do with it then?So let it go!"

To learn how to let things that you cannot control go is to learn how to love yourself and care for yourself. And if you care for yourself, you will make every single day go by is a happy day full of laughs and fun. And by living today happily, you are on your way making your whole life happy.

The following poem was not written by me but I found it saying what I want to say. So Thanks to the writer for putting my thinkings into a poem.

FORGIVENESS

(by Brenda Terrell)

When a hurtful word is spoken

Or an unkind deed is done

I always must remember

I am not the only one

Who has ever been mistreated

Stepped upon or pushed aside

By thoughtless harmful actions

Or selfish hateful pride.

The world is full of people

Who purposely abuse

Who lie and cheat and slander

And manipulate and use

Anyone and everyone

Who might get in their way

Of success or fame or power;

No price too big to pay.

God's word is clear and simple

About what I must do

When I have been offended

By friend or foe's misuse:

"Forgive...and be forgiven"

I dare not keep a score--

Seventy times seven

Times seven hundred more.

When I am unforgiving,

The battle I'll not win;

For I need my Father's mercy

To blot out all my sin.

Forgiving is not easy

Yet I know it can be done:

I look to Christ my Savior,

The Holy, Sinless One.

When Jesus died upon the cross

His words rang clear and true,

"Father, please forgive them,

For they know not what they do."

As the Precious Lamb of God

Christ wants me to see:

Forgiving is the power

That sets my spirit free!

Forgiveness is God's wondrous gift

That sets my spirit free!