Can lost be found?

Yeah, that's it. I know what I want and I know something is wrong, and I even know how to solve the problem. But at the end, my choice was to stay the same and didnt do anything that I think it's right to make my own life happy. Stupid! Powerless! and stupid.
Well, it's tough to be in the middle actually. I know what to do to make myself happy. And at the same time, I know that what I want to do will make someone else not happy at all. And I really dont want to see this person to be not happy. So, please, tell me what to do?

Feeling so unsure about everything now. Family, works, boyfriend.... Everything is just so unstable. Family is going up and down and what is promised to be changed may not change at all. Works are good and then found not good anymore, moving on for more challanges seems to be much much more difficult than I thought. Am I wrong to decide that I want to move on for something better? And if its not wrong, why everybody is trying to stop me and I dont get any support at all?

What I thought is fake seems to be not fake now, but who can say its not gonna be fake later? Not asking for any ensurance but things are just unsure. Someone told me to guard my heart while keep going. Sounds fake a gain. Can you love someone and guard your heart at the same time? So how can you love up? You find yourself falling in love and tell yourself "Dont love!" Can you really do that? Sounds like you are starving and you see a piece of spicy pork ribs and you have to tell yourself "Dont eat it! It may be poisionous!", and at the same time, you just keep being invited to taste it and it also looks so touchable and "tastable"? Yeah, just unsure!

LOST!!! What??? I lost it, my trust! I dont know how but I know I lost it. Maybe someone took it away. Maybe I droped it somewhere or worse, even maybe I wasted it for something not worth it.

And the most important thing! Can it be found? Easy or not easy? Or possible or impossible? Can I get it back? Honestly, I doubt it.

Peace is so far beyond my reach.

Below is a guy talking to God with the hope that he can help him to find the lost trust. Can God help? Honestly, I doubt it.