Equality?

I just came back from Thanh Hoa, a very poor province of Vietnam. I was doing some volunteer work for an U.S NGO and we were distributing wheelchairs for disable people this time. We went to some remoted and moutainous commnues of the province and I got lots of lessons for myself learnt there.

A baby looked 8 but he is 18 and he cant say, cant move, cant walk and he doesnt know anything around him. He's been disable since he was born and the only person who is always by his side is his mother. The family is poor. The total income each month is less than 40USD/month. His mother has to spend more than a half of the income for his medicine every month. Otherwise, he would be dead or showing some strange symphonyms such as shaking the whole body, legs and arms shrink, the eyes would be white only and the mouth would be dead means he counldnt control his body anymore. He would go as wild as an animal.

A veteran had both of his legs cut by a bomb at the same time three of his fellas dead from that bomb. Since he's done with his honorable job with his country and went back to his home town, he has never got any thing from the local government. And today, the first thing which would be considered the first care for him is not from the local gov neither, it's from an U.S NGO. The chairman of the NGO after asking about his situation of getting his legs cut, he was on his knees and said sorry to the soldier for whatever his country has done to Vietnam and to soldiers like the veteran. There were lots of local authorities attending the ceremony but none of them droped a tear while everybody cried to see the American guy being on his knees saying sorry to a leg-cut soldier.

And many many more stories about many other people who cant have a normal life like us because of deaseas or because of what war has left behind it.

After the ceremony, we jumbed on a van which was sent to pick us up from the hotel by the local gov and heading back to the hotel. One of the local authorities was on the same van with us offered everybody a "friendly meal". He also promised that there would be some entertainment after the meal. To be asked about the entertainment, he used some dialects to imply the karaoke services with lots of beautiful girls serving our group. I so wanted to shout at his face that he was a bastard. Could not he see his people outthere starving and many of them cant have a chance to have a good meal with lots of meat and enough nutrition? Is he blind or what? Just only one meal that he is using the money from the local gov to treat us can save lots of people. And he even offered some "beautiful girls" into the meal jsut to make it more "tasty". Bitch!!!

Well, but then what can we do? Nothing I guess.

Some people dont have anything for their meals and someone has "fresh meat" for their ones. That's life!

The trust model

Here is a picture I drew showing trust models can evolve:



1. Suspicious still. Don't ever trust anyone, even after they have done something nice.
2. Suspicious until. Don't trust anyone until they prove themself.
3. Trust until. Trust people until they screw up.
4. Trust still. Trust people even after they make mistakes, sometimes even when they hurt you.

Here are some beliefs I have about trust models:

1. Evolution. Although you might be today in any one of the four stages, you can also move through various stages in life. I like to think that if people start out life in a suspicious stage, that they can evolve to becoming more trusting of others. (Remove those scars on your back...)

2. Trust still. Many people would argue that stage 4 is a bad place to be, trusting people even after they have hurt you or made mistakes. I think it is all a matter of degrees, but in general, prefer to be closer to stage 4 than stage 3. I also don't like working with people who are in stage 1, and often (but not always) don't like working with people who are in stage 2.

3. Optimism. Optimism/belief is a critical component for being very successful. (E.g., sculptor who sees the statue and simply frees it from the stone; E.Q. marshmallow test, etc.) I think there is a strong correlation between trust models and optimism.

4. Success. People at the top of the trust diagram are generally more successful in life than those on the bottom. Part of this is that you often need to trust colleagues to have them perform at their highest levels.

Allright, now if I want to be successful in life, I have to find my trust back!!!

But HOW???