Stripping day!

Some of my friends and I went to Water Park on Monday morning. I was so excited as I’ve never been there before and I heard lots about it and its games in there.

There we go! We got there at about 10 AM and trying to get the tickets in a polite manner as a lady jumped in front of us from nowhere and she got the tickets before us though we been queuing for ages. Ok, anyway, we are here, inside the water park. Lots of crazy and scary games waiting. I cant stand here for one more sec. I gotta jump in.

The first one was the pool with waves. Ofcourse, it doesnt have the real waves, but they release the waves every ten minutes then everybody can feel the sick from it. I was trying to keep myself floating and I heard the rescuer screaming:"Whose is that? What the hell did you do to it to make it float away like that? Put it back!!!" Everybody was looking around to see what happened then a girl with a very very very embarassing face showed up from the water "That's mine! But my swimsuit has three pieces!!" Hahahahha! Everybody saw a piece of swimsuit and they thought there must be someone naked downthere or somewhere. But they are not that lucky. The swimwuit of that girl really has three peices, the top for the ..... top, the bottom for...., well...(Can you guys figure it out by yourselves?) and a small skirt to tie around the hip. And what stripped out of her body was just the skirt, so even if you were under the water and very close to her, you could not see anything "something" as she was not 100% naked, not 50% naked, nor 45% naked, but just 10% as she was still wearing her swimsuit and what has to be covered was covered!

Yeah, stripping!!!

My turn came just few minutes later and even worse as something has to be covered was ..... uncovered! oh my God! We were playing the game that we had to use the magic carpet to slide down a more than 20m pipe to the pool. What we gotta do is lie down on the carpet and slide along the pipe with the speed of more than 60 kms/hour. I was so scared that I first decided not to do it. But one of my friends persuaded me to do and the disaster appeared when I nodded my head and I had no idea about what's gonna happen down there when I'm done with the crazy sliding,nor any other. Whoaaaaaaaa!!!! Oooooooooohhhhhhhhhh!!!!! There I was, at the bottom of the pipe, trying to stand up from the water when I heard a rescuer standing on the bank saying something like "Put it on" or "Cover i up" in Vietnamese. I did not pay any attention to him as I was trying to get out of the pool before other players slide to me. Then one of my friends just came over and pulled up swimsuit and until that time, I realised that one of my breasts showed up as one side of the swimsuit slipped out of its position and everybody was staring at my breast. Oh my God, oh my God!!!

Yeah, stripping!!!

No rescuer can help in these situations! You're fired!!!

What a day!

Hey,
It was a very long and tired day for me yesterday.

Got lots of things done in the day, went to employers to hand over the CV, did some researches on internet about jobs. Then got back to a place where I could send emails to employers again, did some reading and waiting. I was so trying to stop me from sleeping in the afternoon. But I couldnt and at the same time, I gota wait for calls from some friends. So all I could do was passed out a little while and that's why it made me even more tired. And that's not all!!!

I got home for dinner and got wet from the rain on the way home. Shit. Dinner done! Trying to get out of the house to go to a place then we could talk. Ok, talk! Had some fun actually. So that's better!

Got home, got shower and when I was walking around the room to get my clothes, I got a very deep cut in my finger from the fan and everything came out.

Blood, tiring feelings, frustration, depression, and anger came with tear and fear.

I just wish I could get over everything that I went through for the last few weeks.

I just wish I could get a job then I can get back the feeling I'm useful again.

I just wish I could forget what hurt me before then start thinking more positively and optimistically. No use!!!

I just wish I could find my peace again.

It really sucks when those bad feelings stay inside of you that long at the same time you are having a bad time of having nothing to do.

What do you do when you have nothing to do? Err....err... I do .... nothing.Yeah, bored!

Anyone realise the Vietnamese meaning of the above pic? Hahahhahah!!!!

Easy and not easy!

It's easy to be in someone's address book. It's not easy to be in their heart.

It's easy to judge their mistakes. It's not easy to admit our own ones.

It's easy to say something without thinking. It's not easy to control whhat your words.

It's easy to hurt someone you love. it's not easy to heal it.

It's easy to dream everynight. It's not easy to struggle for a dream.

It's easy to show up a victory. it's not easy to admit a failure.

It's easy to fall off by a stone. It's not easy to stand up and keep going.

It's easy to promise something to someone. It's not easy to complete your promise.

It's easy to say "I love you!". It's not easy to make show it and make the one you love feels it.

It's easy to criticise someone. IT's not easy to improve yourself.

It's easy to make a mistake. It's not easy to learn from it.

It's easy to get mad when you loose something. It's not easy to care enough about it then you dont loose it.

It's easy to think about something. it's not easy to stop thinking and start acting.

It's easy to think badly about someone. It's not easy to give them the belief.

It's easy to take. It's not easy to give.

It's easy to read these things. it's not easy to do it.

If the chance does not knock on your door, let's see if you have a door?



OR

How to.........?

This is the best way to make a violent adult:

A day to remember

What's that? Well, nothing special just KFC. Yeah, KFC came to Hanoi. We can see KFC everywhere in Hochiminh City, but it doesnt come to Hanoi until now. One of my friends said ecomonists would call this day "the historical day of a communist country".

I came to KFC to get some of the taste(not for the first time as i got it before, ofcourse not in Hanoi) and oh my God, it was sooooooo crowded. Everybody was not trying but struggling to get one. Sad thing was they were not in queue. I came there with a friend of mine and we had to wait for almost 30 minutes and it was not because it's too crowded, but because they were not in queue and that's why it took much longer than it should be supposed to be.

Well, trying to get better though. Things seem to stay the same but at the same time, I try to force myself to not stay the same, at least, cheer up myself and looking for some interesting things which can help me feel better, even from just very very tiny thing. I am always proud of me about this, the ability of self motivating and cheering up.

There we go! Just keep swimming, right?

Cheer up babe!

Nothing to think, nowhere to go and no feelings to....

He has been there for a very very long time.

At first, I dont know if I should love him or I should hate him. At first, I thought he is the most understanding man in the world that I've ever met. He talked to me and persuaded me to beleive in things, like this is good and this is bad, that I should do this and I should not do that. And many other things. When I found anything among what he told me is not really right according to my point of view and told him that I think this is not good or something against him and not following his ideas, he could be angry, very angry and no less than one time, he bit me black and blue. He said only what he said and thought is right is right! The rest or any other would be wrong. He doesnt care if I would feel or think the same or not. It hurted and hurts, a lot! Everybody around him has to follow him and his idea, no matter how bad it is, no matter how nonsence it is and no matter how wrong it is. If any doesnt? He would be so angry and he said that person is a bad person, very bad! And if he could, he would hit that person with anything in his hand at that time, a knife, a chair, or a bottle of wine, or even just the dishes on the dining table when everybody is having dinner together. If he doesnt have anything hard or just to hold to hit that person, he would use his hands to slap, to hold the person and throw that person to any where he could, to the bed, to the wall, or just to drop off to the ground in a violent way which is hard enough to hurt that person. I remember there was one time, I was at Grade 2, meaning I was about 7 years old that I forgot to complete my homework for school. When he found out, he was angry that he slaped me and the slap was so hard that my blood came out from my mouth and my lips swelled up so badly that I could not go to school for next 3 or 4 days and I could not eat or drink normally. It hurt. Mentally more than physically. Slap a little girl who is only 7 years old that hard? Are you sure that she could fully understand the whole story? But you can be pretty sure that she got hurt and she could never forget it. Never!

He used to think that I am not his child physically. Meaning he thought he was not my father deep in the blood. This maybe the reason why he hit me a lot and he showed out that he hated me when I was a child. Later on, for some reasons that I dont know, he recognized I am really his child, but thanks! The childhood was destroyed and the little girl dead with the childhood full of tears, black and blue and even blood and stiches. I still kept one of scars caused by him and it will help remind me of those things that I have been through.

I got a punch from him again. Well, actually, I got used to this long time ago, so I am not shocked but I think it's time to run away for my own life and I should not be stupid anymore about it. I should not stay the same place for him to come over to hit me any time he wants. No matter what the reason is, he has no right to hit me that way. Normally, when I got hit by him, I usually tried to forget it as soon as possible and he also tried to be nice to me the next days. But later, if there's something happens not following his wants or he doesnt like, he would not be reluctant to hit me again. I got my own decision. I will move out. I just cant stay with him even one more day. I even dont want to see him. When I got home last night, he was trying to be nice to me by giving me a glass of water. But thanks but No thanks. "I'm not thirsty!" I told him. And then I found him getting angry again because I was not nice to him when he offered his kindess. Dont try to heal it then hit it again next time.
What should I think about him? Hate or love? Do I really have to love him just because he us my dad ans though he treated me so badly, but he is still my dad so I still have to love him no matter what he does to me?

Can lost be found?

Yeah, that's it. I know what I want and I know something is wrong, and I even know how to solve the problem. But at the end, my choice was to stay the same and didnt do anything that I think it's right to make my own life happy. Stupid! Powerless! and stupid.
Well, it's tough to be in the middle actually. I know what to do to make myself happy. And at the same time, I know that what I want to do will make someone else not happy at all. And I really dont want to see this person to be not happy. So, please, tell me what to do?

Feeling so unsure about everything now. Family, works, boyfriend.... Everything is just so unstable. Family is going up and down and what is promised to be changed may not change at all. Works are good and then found not good anymore, moving on for more challanges seems to be much much more difficult than I thought. Am I wrong to decide that I want to move on for something better? And if its not wrong, why everybody is trying to stop me and I dont get any support at all?

What I thought is fake seems to be not fake now, but who can say its not gonna be fake later? Not asking for any ensurance but things are just unsure. Someone told me to guard my heart while keep going. Sounds fake a gain. Can you love someone and guard your heart at the same time? So how can you love up? You find yourself falling in love and tell yourself "Dont love!" Can you really do that? Sounds like you are starving and you see a piece of spicy pork ribs and you have to tell yourself "Dont eat it! It may be poisionous!", and at the same time, you just keep being invited to taste it and it also looks so touchable and "tastable"? Yeah, just unsure!

LOST!!! What??? I lost it, my trust! I dont know how but I know I lost it. Maybe someone took it away. Maybe I droped it somewhere or worse, even maybe I wasted it for something not worth it.

And the most important thing! Can it be found? Easy or not easy? Or possible or impossible? Can I get it back? Honestly, I doubt it.

Peace is so far beyond my reach.

Below is a guy talking to God with the hope that he can help him to find the lost trust. Can God help? Honestly, I doubt it.

Fake

Can you tell someone that you never think they are taking advantage of you and just later, you tell them that you feel like a bank to them?

It sounds so fake!

Can you tell someone that you care about them a lot but you also tell them that you are not comfy having them with you?

It sounds so fake!

Can you have a city dinner in a countryside surroundings or a countryside dinner in a city surroundings?

It sounds so fake!

Can you tell someone that you want to be away from them and also tell them that you fidn its so hard to wake up not having them with you?

It sounds so fake!

Can you love someone and make the calculation of how much you can get from them and make the comparision of the social level between you and them based on what you WANT to see?

It sounds so fake!

Can you love someone and look down on them, thinking they are not at the same level with you, asking yourself if you deserve someone better who is at higher social level, has no hard time, independant all the time and doesnt need your care at all?

Its a fake love!

No, its not love! Call it whatever you want!

Its fake anyway.
Oh, enjoy 1 million dollars here. Its yours! Tell me when you have nothing left, another note of 1m dollars ia available all the time.
Its not fake! Trust me, its not fake! Because its money!

Give and get

The ship is sinking.
Why? Because the sailors on that ship are not sailing towards the same direction and one is sailing every sec and the other is just asking the partner to row and row and row.

There's an interesting saying about GIVE and GET in relationships:
IF one only knows how to GIVE and forGIVE and the other knows only how to GET and forGET, then the relationSHIP will sink.

IF there is no equality and balance, the relationSHIP will sink.

Remember, it always takes two to tango.

Otherwise, if one chooses to waltz, then the other will take salsa! HAHAHAHA!
AND THEN THE SHIP SINKS.

Another kind of frozen

Click to the title of the entry to listen to "Frozen"
Kinda scary eh?
Dont worry, once it's frozen, then it's just the body without alive soul and heart, so it's not scary anymore, right?
Well, it's not easy at all even when it's dead though.
Sleep well!

Frozen and empty

There is something you know you love and care about so much. Then one day, you found you are losing it. The worse thing is you know you cant get it back. And the worst thing is you know you should not get it back as it's not yours in many ways. It's so far beyond your reach. It's not at same level with you. You know you are being looked down on and you dont know how to get out of the feeling of being so small and so powerless.
But at the same time, you know everything is really over and you cant do anything about it anymore.

You are frozen. Your mind is frozen, your heart is frozen and your soul is frozen too.

How do you know you are frozen? Listen:

You only see what your eyes want to see
How can life be what you want it to be
You're frozen.When your heart's not open

You're so consumed with how much you get
You waste your time with hate and regret
You're broken. When your heart's not open

If I could melt your heart, we'd never be apart.
Give yourself to me, you hold the key

Now there's no point in placing the blame
And you should know I suffer the same
If I lose you, My heart will be broken

Love is a bird, she needs to fly
Let all the hurt inside of you die
You're frozen When your heart's not open

If I could melt your heart,we'd never be apart.
Give yourself to me, you hold the key.

Yeah...Only IF I could melt your heart. But I know I cant. It's frozen.

An interview with a star

1. Do you have a heart and a soul?
--> Sure! If not, how can I stay alive? at least with a heart :)

2. Do you care about someone?
--> Oh yeah! I do. Myself.

3. Do you love someone?
--> Stupid question. Yesssssssss! Myself!

4. Does the person you love knows you love and care about them?
--> Sure! I breath every second, I eat everyday, I work everyday to earn the money and put them in the bank account where noone but me can touch them, I have shower/bath everyday(including washing my hair with the best quality shampoo)and I look at the mirror everyday to tell the one I love that "I love you so much, I would never let anyone take advantage of you or harm you in anyway. Dont worry, I will be very ready to protect you at any time"

5. Does that peron love and care about you?
--> Sure! For this one, I know for sure the answer is "yes". Want to know more detail? Look back at the answer for question 4

6. If you find anyone attempting to take advantage of you, what would you do?
--> Without saying a word, thinking a sec, I would kick that ass out of my door and the ass can be sure that they would never find the way back to any place which is even jsut close to me. I dont want that dirty ass to breathe my air. It's one way of taking advantage of anyway.

7. What do you care most about?
--> Well, not much. But I'm not a selfish person though. I care about my money at anywhere like in my house, my wallet, my bank account... I also care about how to stop someone from taking advantage of me and my rich life. I know this world so well. Everybody is trying to taking advantage of me. Hey, listen, the world! I'm not a rich person, ok? Stay away from me. Want to hang out with me? You should care about me lots all the time,be independant all the time. I dont think I have enough time to think of someone else. Yeah, you can go out with me for a while but in the end, leave me alone when I am tired and want to be alone and dont ever think of touching my money in any way. It's no use to think as I know how to stop you. I would kick your ass out of my door right away. Oh, you feel tired, hurt, lonely and you are asking for arms or hugs? Who do you think you are? You are not at same level with me in so many ways and sorry but I dont do care or sympathy. None of my biz. Done, oh my God! I'm so sleepy! Where is my place with my bed? Any more?

8. Ok, last question. Who do you think you are?
--> I know being cocky is not good at all. So I think I'm just the one and the only. If you really want to go out with me. Let's go out when I want and when I dont want you to be with me and when I'm tired of being with you and want to get some sleep? Get out of my sight before I kick your ass and throw you out of the door. Out!But when I call, or when I say "I'm tired and I'm bored. I want to do something with somebody, you have to be here for me right away. Clear? Good! Now, out! Oh by the way! I'm not a star. I am the sun which is the one and the only on the earth.

Selfish to protect yourself? That's fine. Too selfish and dont care abotu anything and anyone? Well,hmmm......hmmm

I decided to move out to live with one of my friends and she is very nice and she has been my emotional support since I know her. Bad thing is I cant move out now as she's not back until August and I also have to find a job for my own then I can afford everything when I live on my own. I really dont want to be dependent on anyone about anything. So.....

Someone offers me a place to live with but I dont think it's a good idea since I dont want my face to be shouted at like "You are taking advantage of my rich life" or "I feel like a bank to you". Dont know why but I cant get over it. It's tough though. Or maybe because of this thinking, that person has been selfish to me since they think they are being taken advantage of, so they dont have to care about anything else and consider my care to them as a "must"?

Is it fine to be selfish all the time? Well, you have to protect yourself all the time. That's true. But keep thinking you are the center of the world and everybody around has to care about you all the time though sometimes they are tired and in a bad mood too?

It's funny to find out that when a man is tired and in a bad mood, he closes everything, his eyes, his mouth, his ears and his heart and soul too. He is not willing to be a listener at all. He cares about himself first. How about the woman? When she is tired and in a bad mood, she also wants to have a rest too but if her man is tired at the same time she is, she is still willing to listen and to ask "honey, how are you today? Is there anything wrong? You've got a long day? Ok, so tell me about it!I'm listening!" She cares about her man first.

She got food poision and the stomach hurt much. The man got home and he's tired. The woman was tired too and she's even worse having food poision. She was trying to ask what was wrong with her man but "Nothing!", said he. And he didnt ask her about her stomach nad her mood and he only knows that he was tired and feeling not good and he just wanted to go to sleep. And he didnt know and didnt care if she was tired or not, if she was in a good mood or not, if she was having any trouble or not. He didnt know that she was a bit scared going home where she can get hit anytime and she needed a hug more than ever and she needed someone telling her that everything is gonna be fine. He just closed the door as if" Please go away. I'm tired and I want to go to sleep"

Ok, I'm leaving! Dont worry! I'm leaving and not staying to take advantage of your rich life anymore. Keep staying there to protect your rich life and stopping anyone who is attempting to take advantage of it. Keep closing your door and being selfish, not care about anyone.

I have been on my own for my whole life since I was born then I think I can get over this. That's fine. That's gonna be fine dear. Dealing with things by myself is what I have been doing for 26 years so it's gonna be easy.

Fine!!!